(This opinion is to be considered a joke, please do not take offense and is supposed to bring attention to the breast cancer initiatives on campus.)

             After walking around campus for the past two weeks, I’ve noticed something. Everyone seems to be trying save the ta-tas. Now how can I deny such a noble and just cause?  I am getting tired of seeing pink. Pink shirts, pink bows, pink banners, pink pinks and on and on, etc, you get the picture. I also can’t stand seeing pink on the male students. I mean can you really take yourself seriously if you are wearing the exact shade of fuchsia that baby girls are wrapped in at the hospital.

            I say it is time to save the family jewels; testicular cancer to be precise. Why hasn’t a male oriented student group on campus taken up this cause for justice? One reason could be because that no one really likes looking at them as much as the other. A shirt that says save the ta-tas can’t really be taken as offensive since women all have them and most men want them, but then comes the dilemma, what catchy slogans could be used that refers to testicles? I sure as hell can’t think of anything clean or inoffensive. Could this be because our gentlemen vegetables are not as widely discussed among our peers?

            Well, then we come to prostate cancer. Another gross and weird slogan could stem from that idea. Actually I don’t want to think about how that could be interpreted on a T-shirt or banner strung up on the front lawn. To see the rest of the town’s population driving by West Hall to see a 20 foot banner with some combinations of “save the prostate” in a more clever fashion. Come to think of it I don’t want to see anything with those words on it. To all those sororities out there who are trying to save the ta-tas, keep up the good work since the male counterparts are nowhere as cool or as entertaining as yours, even though I still want to see a shirt that says save the family jewels.