Written by Kayla Stroud, Web Editor 

Winners of the Week: Depressing Superbowl Commercials

Seahawks fans weren’t the only ones pulling a long face this past Sunday night. In a night of buzzkill commercials, one stood out among the pack. Nationwide Insurance Company spent a reported $6.75 million on a Superbowl spot that left quite the impression with audiences. The commercial featured a kid speaking about things that he “wished he could do,” only for an EPIC plot twist where viewers learned that he was actually talking from the grave. No word as to whether a Ouija board was consulted in preparation for this commercial.

Also not sure how an insurance company could help a kid BEFORE he got crushed by a flat screen TV.

Bobbi Kristina Brown in Critical Condition
Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown’s only child, Bobbi Kristina, is currently in a medically induced coma after an alleged overdose. The 21-year-old was found unresponsive lying in her bathtub late last week. There has been conflicting reports on her current condition but according to latest updates, there has been very little improvement.

An attorney of the family has come forward announcing that Brown’s alleged marriage to family friend Nick Gordon has proven to be false.

Missy Elliot Makes Her Debut
This year’s Superbowl halftime performer, Katy Perry, was kind enough to spare 30 seconds of her airtime to help showcase upcoming artist, Missy Elliot. Elliot rapped her little heart out to show the world that she was … Perry’s kind gesture allowed Elliot to crack the iTunes charts….Wait, she’s actually a rap legend? Oh, my bad.

Bruce Jenner In Transition
After much speculation, it appears as if the rumors are true about Kardashian’s step daddy, Bruce Jenner. Jenner is reportedly transitioning from a man to a woman. The Kardashian-Jenner clan are said to be very accepting to it. Jenner is said to have a sit-down interview on the topic in the works.

Harper Lee New Story
It has been over half a century since she published her classic novel “To Kill a Mockingbird.” A sequel is said to be released in the near future.

Paul McCartney Should Take Up Crocheting
Paul McCartney is bored. The former Beatles member continues to lend his talents to other artists. In January alone, McCartney was featured on both Kanye West solo single, “Only One,” and Rihanna’s song, “FourFiveSeconds.” It now appears as though he is working with another project. He has recently been photographed in the studio with pop star Lady Gaga. They are said to be in the studio working on a secret project.