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The unemployment line: that’s where you’ll end up if you’re picking some of these majors.

Don’t waste your money: Majors to avoid next semester

Everyone’s path to success in life will be different. While you need a college degree to get your foot in the door for most jobs worth a lick, that doesn’t mean you should go for just any major, either. After all, you’re in college to make money for your future. Why would you spend thousands of dollars going to college if you’re only there to learn or do something you’re interested in? Unless, of course, you’re idle rich and have nothing better to do. Not everyone can be a doctor or lawyer, but these majors won’t be doing you any favors in the long run. If you’re currently studying these majors, get out while you still can.

Nurses: doing the work doctors don’t want to.

Nursing: You poor students will have all the job duties that doctors can’t be bothered with, like recording the patient’s ailments, performing their examinations, and educating them on their treatment options. You will have just as much knowledge as a pre-med student. However, you will get none of the prestige, and will only get a fraction of the pay. Why set yourself up for that? Helping people is too overrated.

Communication: So, you have been going to school for over a decade now, have interacted with dozens of peers, teachers and coaches, and you still had to school for another four years to learn how to talk to people? Let us know how well that’ll bode for you in the workforce. Never mind that communication is a continually evolving, essential facet in our daily lives, and our society would crumble without it. It just tells employers that you didn’t know what you wanted to do in college.

English: Just like Communication, you still don’t have a mastery of the English language even though you’ve only been speaking it your whole life? (Foreign language students get a pass in this regard). Forget that in order to find, let alone keep a job, you need to be skilled in reading or writing. You can’t even go the ESL teaching route anymore because we now have Google Translate and Duolingo (because everyone who doesn’t speak English has such easy access to that, right?), so what exactly do you plan on doing with this degree?

Philosophy: any answer can be correct if you make a good enough argument for it.

Philosophy: There are even degrees for thinking? If you’re majoring in this, just give up at this point. It’s not like critical thinking skills are essential to your daily functions as an adult. Being able to formulate an argument and research to back up your claims? Being reflective about your beliefs and the effects you have on your community? That isn’t going to put money in your bank account.

‘Dr.’ Creflo Dollar is living proof that Religious Studies degrees are worthless.

Religious Studies: If you’re expecting to find a good-paying job with this degree after graduation, then you’d better have the patience of Job. Let’s be honest, though. If you’re studying religion, you probably aren’t in it for the money, anyway. Like the good brother, Kanye West, said, “Jesus Walks,” so who needs a car? However, if you really want to make money while being religious, start a mega-church. Just ask Creflo Dollar, who fundraised a $65 million private jet through his congregation. Why make a fulfilling career practicing your beliefs, sharing them with others and even traveling for missionary work and helping people when you can have a private jet? Or have Kim Kardashian as a wife?

Art: Like Religious Studies, these majors aren’t in it for the money. At least, we hope not because the ‘starving artist’ stereotype exists for a reason. With the way the economy is looking, purchasing art from a no-name college graduate isn’t a priority for most people. Besides, it just screams ‘pretentious hipster,’ and no employer wants to hire that. No one really cares that art and its history help shape our culture and values that we hold dear. Who wants to see a painting or a sculpture when they can just hop on Instagram?

See how ugly and inconvenient this is? All because of geologists and their kindergarten artwork.

Geology: Geologists have the prominent job of studying the culture and behavioral patterns of…rocks. If any of you have taken geology for your required science course during freshman and sophomore year, you’ll know that you were paying thousands for an advanced kindergarten class. Seriously, each class consisted of drawing, scratching and playing with various rocks. There only difference is there’s no snack time or recess. And we’re letting these people help construct highways, layout pipelines our cities’ need and predict earthquakes and volcanos?

Don’t believe it? Ask around and see how many people are hiring for these majors. If you manage to find someone who is employed, inquire about the salary. We guarantee it won’t be much.

College is all about investing in your future so you can provide a living for yourself and make a lot of money. You can’t possibly also want to help people feel better, learn new skills to advance your community or just be the best version of yourself. After all, this country is capitalist for a reason.

Written by Malia Thomas, Entertainment Editor. Photos courtesy of Wikimedia Commons, Flickr and Pxhere.

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